Local BBC radio in Manchester tipped this book on one of their 'footie' forum broadcasts, when Paul Lake was a guest on the programme. It is a story of determination, spirit, resilience, and broken dreams. Set against the backdrop of one of the world’s wealthiest football clubs at the end of their era at Maine Road, I'm Not Really Here is the powerful story of love, loss, and the cruel, irreparable damage of injury. With a forced retirement from the game he adored, the death of his father, and the collapse of his marriage, Paul was left a broken man. Watching from the sidelines as similarly injured players regained their fitness, he spiraled into a prolonged bout of severe depression. Neglected, ignored, and misunderstood by his club after a career–saving operation was irreversibly botched, Paul’s career began to fall apart. Paul ruptured his crucial ligament and so began his nightmare.

But then, in September 1990, disaster struck. As a rising star Paul became a target for top clubs like Manchester United, Arsenal, Spurs, and Liverpool, but he always stayed loyal to his beloved club, deeming Maine Road the spiritual home at which his destiny lay. Despite missing out on a place in the final squad he suitably impressed the management, with Bobby Robson marking him as an England captain in the making. An international career soon beckoned and, after trying out for the England under–21 team, he was called up to the England training camp for Italia ’90. Just three years later he was handed the team captaincy, becoming the youngest ever City captain. His soccer talent was spotted at a young age and, in 1985, he signed with City.

Paul Lake was Manchester born, a City fan from birth.

The extraordinary memoir of Paul Lake, the greatest English footballer to never make the national team

I'm Not Really Here by Paul Lake